First draft.

I am currently working on a book. To be honest I am working on a few books. I do not think there special or stand out that much but in order to improve yourself you need to get people to read it and provide you feedback. Therefore I am posting my first page of the new book I am working on.


Painful memories, a heart full of scares. That is what was left of Maya. Maya was a beautiful girl with long blond hair and bright blue eyes. But she did not smile; in her eyes you could see the pain. She was broken but could she be fixed.

Maya was standing outside her school, waiting for her dad to pick her up. He was late again, like always. Maya did not have any friends. She kept to herself as her dad always explained her people you love will leave you in order to protect yourself do not let them get close to you. Maya was not lonely because she never knew another life.

After 15 minutes she looked around and still did not see her dad anywhere so she decided to go to the little cafe across the road.

Maya started to walk across the street. If she did look a little bit better she would have noticed that she was being followed. Her dad who just came around the corner saw the beautiful creature that was following his daughter. The creature had half long dark brown hair that was slightly curled and bright purple eyes. He looked Maya’s dad straight in the eyes and Maya’s dad fell to the ground as an awful sound was going through his head so awful that his heart started to go faster and faster. Then after a few seconds he heard a women scream: Call Nine One One! I think he is having a heart attack.

That should keep him away is what the creature thought. The creature went after Maya. He was supposed to bring her to the king and queen and he must not fail. He did not expect Oberon to be alive, he hoped he was strong enough and that Oberon would die. He did not need any more obstacles with receiving Maya. He never thought Maya would be this pretty and if she was as strong as elves expected her to be he might have a lot of trouble convincing her to come with him.

Maya did not notice what was happening around her, she did not notice the elf that was after her or her dad dying. She walked to the café and went straight to the toilets. Next to the toilet was a big mirror and when she looked into the mirror she saw it move slightly. It looked like water. She saw a guy coming after her in the mirror, the guy scared her. There was something weird and odd about him. An arm came out of the mirror and grabbed Maya. Maya was too frightened to scream or do anything.  And then everything turned black for Maya.


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